finding yourself

Is It A Question of Healing?

There are moments in my life which seem to last forever.
Each breath I take may only last a single second-lingers on
into eternity.

It is the compounding nature of life that bares the weight
of a load which is impossible to carry. As life proceeds, each
step must be carefully placed, so as not to stumble under the
great weight of these travesties.To stumble will bring about
an avalanche of emotions which will bury the soul. One can
only hope that this will not bring about the end of all that
comforts and relieves a weary soul and a troubled mind.
And if this tumble is inevitable, how will one find their
footing after one falls?

This question has plagued my thoughts for the many years
I have struggled with this disorder.

I have been told, that time heals all. But how much time is
needed to heal a wound which is constantly opened under
the great weight that life bestows upon us.The answer can
not be found in any book, or taught by any teacher. It is a
answer which can only be found after searching within. This
answer resides within all of us. This great weight will only
lessen as it is revealed.

This brings about another troubling question.The trials of
life which forms the monstrosity which we bare, inevitably
confuses the mind and impairs the senses. One can become
lost in even the most familiar surroundings. One loses the
ability to rightfully exist in their own space- their physical
body. If the mind is lost and the body alien. How does one
self-examine the soul to cure this persistent wound which plagues
their life? Which if not tended to, will eventually crush and
deaden you spirit, emptiness shall reign and you will be but
a shell of the person that you were born to be.
Marlo Suderski
Hospital 1/8/07