All is Lost

All is lost
my heart is draped with deaths cloak
a forsaken shadow is cast across my eyes
I can no longer love
nor can other love me
desolate
my survival will last long enough to pierce
my heart with the knife that will draws
out my blood
all is lost

Alone

Alone

All I can see is the grim follow me as I run to flee
its malevolent grasp relentlessly clasps
onto my soul and I am lost to though who know
that the end will show I am alone
                                                       10/13/2002

BEWARE

Beware

OUT OF MIND
TRAVEL BEWARE
THERE IS NO LOCATION ONLY DESPAIR
WHERE HAVE I STRAYED
I HAVE LOST MY STANCE
THESE MOMENT PASS IN JUST A GLANCE
I HAVE CRIED FROM MY HEART AND CRIED FORM MY SOUL
I HAVE LOST MY WAY THIS JOURNEY FROM HOME
8/11/05

nature's Mother

Blessed Be

Moments of silence empty the mind
Drawing up nature the energies divine
Move through the body for strength grows within
Sent in the world for perpetual change
Blessed be to the mother of all things


11/3/2009

towards the light

This is not what I want to be?

Through out my personal history I have encountered many crossroads. Various purposes though all have lead to my life. “I”, would not be, if it were not for my crossroads. These were the peaks, the place or position, which I stood determining myself.

There were crossroads of questionable moments, many enthralled debates ensued.  Which route would lead me to my ultimate destination? Pros and Cons, determining factors waffled with purpose through my head. Which will lead me to the success of my future endeavors? There were moments of intensity and suspense tingling in my head.  It was a game of logic. Which type of action will bear the fruit of my sowing? Do I fertilize the soil: do I change my college major? Always so thought out precise in action. And the decision would eventually become as polished as a diamond. Clarity would be revealed.

But these crossroads don’t always follow “The Domino Effect” with its purpose, full of intensity and suspense. Many moments in the realm of crossroads, are our darkest moments. It is then the most monumental changes ensued. A typhoon of, “who am I”. At times looking in the mirror can be agony… the true ugly self, which is when desperation is at its best.

This realm of true desperation has emanated from me twice in my life. Consumed by alcohol at one point and farther down my path the beginnings of a drug addict. Some of my darkest days reflected my desperation. Curiously, short lived in time-line but the longing of dreams shattered by self, lingered through eternity. These crossroads, the moments of divergences in my life’s journey, creeped upon me in swiftness. And I knew- what had I become. I could not even glance at the mirror for my face reeked of failure. But not a moment latter a decision was absolute. There were no debates drawing me through a battle of questions. At that moment, in an instant I changed, and never looked back.

Childless Childhood

Creeping child

Creeping lost child of life
cause fear to those in its sight
it move in the shadows when light appears
there is no escape it is always there
bringing grim into your home
gather doom where ever you go
you can not be free from its eerie ways
all you will know is constant dismay
tears you have shed has always fed
this lost child of life
                                                  10/13/2005